“I Have a Friend Who’s Done That”

“I have a friend who’s done that,” you’ll often hear this phrase just as you’re about start something brave.

The friend, acquaintance, or coworker will often say this as a way to attach themselves to your dreams, and your bravery. They will ask some questions, but as you try to explain every possible unknown, they will quiz you even harder. Suddenly you are delving deep into the core reasons why you’re doing it anyway – you could be left questioning your own motives.

Maybe you’re the person who’s saying this?

You might find yourself looking upwards at a swirl of people around you doing something new, or something exciting. When you’re at the bottom, it can feel like you’re stuck, you’re isolated, and you often tell yourself now isn’t the right time for me to do this.

We only ever hear this inner dialogue when we try to climb out of our comfort zone. Suddenly we’re filled with excuses, ways to talk ourselves down, or to back out, because it’s safer below ground.

The problem is when someone’s about to embark on doing something brave, and you grill them with questions, what you’re really doing is triggering that inner dialogue in their head too. A better thing to try is encouragement.

Truth is, when everyone around you is doing something brave, and suddenly you have a friend who’s done that. What you’re really saying is “I wish I was that brave.”

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