Over at Tuska Toys I wrote their sales copywriting across the homepage and 10 subcategories. My brief was to write up the copy in conjunction with SEO tags and data. [Samples can be found via my delicious tags]
Some lessons learned with writing this sales copy, this was surprisingly difficult. If you look at the table, it genuinely is quite hard to include “children educational toys,” “educational toys for children,” “educational toys for 4 year olds,” “educational toys for 5 year olds,” in 11 different ways. [See the particular page here]
Sales Copy Triumphs
My biggest triumph was being able to pick out the health benefits of some products on offer, focusing on how they would help the brain development and learning benefits for children. I do quite like Tuska’s motto “learning through play” and something I believe in and agree with from my studies in psychology.
I’ll start off on a strong point, I wrote some really good and well-constructed text. It flowed nicely and felt natural to write. I even went into some excellent detail in terms of making sure that the company’s values shone-through in my writing. I was quite excited to be able to use my knowledge in the education sector and combine it with my psychological knowledge to make something to be quite proud of.
Sales Copy Mistakes
Now it’s time to reflect on the mistakes. The first mistake is that I wrote about the project and really got into detail of what the company offers. This is mistake because I took the focus off of the customer, (and you can see this in detail in the image below).
I included the word ‘you’ a total of four times out of 350 words.
And in comparison used the word “we” 15 times.
This is an out and out error of poor sales copy. The customer always cares about themselves first, it’s great to read and find out that the company whether the company is the greatest and has the strongest values possible etc. But it’s not their priority, and it shouldn’t be on the homepage.
However, this is specific only to the homepage. For the rest of the sales copy, I targeted my writing at teachers and showed them how this could be incorporated into the classroom, I told them to “imagine”, and tried to tap into the emotions and behaviours they want from the kids, such as engagement, intrigue and cooperation.
Why not read some more case studies?